Generation X: Bad Parents?

The over-scheduling, over-achieving and stressed-out parenting style that has been the hallmark of the Boomer (born 1943-1960) generation may finally be coming to a close now that Generation X (born 1961-1981) is fully taking over as parent of young children. There is a backlash developing in the form of the “Bad Parent” who isn’t willing to sacrifice everything to be the perfect Mom or Dad. And, like everything suggested by Generation X it was initially reviled but now starting to gain acceptance. This short (2.5 minute) video on CNN give a quick picture of the shift:

While they seem to understand that the parenting style so dominant when the Millennials (born 1982-200?) is coming to a close, there is little awareness of what comes next. The Boomers dove into parenting like everything else they did, with idealism and righteousness. By the time that Gen X’er started to have kids they got overwhelmed with the expectations (that were unrealistic, especially for Moms) and are finally starting to rebel.

All of this makes sense in generational terms, but the thing that is being missed is the parenting style that will dominate for the next 20 years. According to Strauss and Howe’s generational theory, the next “cohort” or generation began a few years ago, perhaps in 2003, perhaps in 2005 (that will become clearer in time). The next generation (that they have named “Homelander” for now) will be raised very differently than the previous generation (the Millennials). The Homelanders will be raised during a massive crisis, much like the Great Depression and WWII that was faced 80+ years ago. This period of crisis is known as the “Fourth Turning” (the title of one of Strauss and Howe’s best, but  most difficult, books). We are at the start of the Crisis/Fourth Turning right now (they call it the Millennial Crisis) and it will likely last until 2025.

So how will Gen X’ers (and eventually Millennials) parent during this Fourth Turning? Probably in the same way that the Lost Generation (born 1883-1900) and GI Generation (born 1901-1924) did in the 1930’s: by protecting the children from the chaos in the world. This protection will go completely overboard in the upcoming years and the kids will end up in ridiculously cloistered environments (“They stroll in sidewalk versions of sport utility vehicles, learn to swim in U.V. protective full-body suits.” from a recent NYTimes article) and will probably turn out much like their grandparents, from the Silent Generation (born 1925-1942). As usual, most institutions (schools in particular) won’t be prepared for this shift and will assume what worked for the previous batch of kids (Millennials) will work with this bunch as well. The result will be a very challenging time for schools (and eventually companies) as these stifled, conformist and compliant kids move up through the years.

Of course, as I have mentioned before, their parents (Gen X’ers) will be entirely different (and more difficult) matter…

13 thoughts on “Generation X: Bad Parents?”

  1. i think i'm in the overparenting camp myself – still.

    have you heard of lenore skenazy – free range kids. fun, but entirely serious stuff.

    what do you think of blog carnivals? i was thinking of starting one on gen x, but i'm not sure. they seem primarily reserved for – well, other types of people. hahahahaha

    1. I have heard of the free range kids stuff, but not looked into it much. Our kids go to Waldorf school (and have done so since kindergarten). We are definitely overparents as well, although we don't overschedule or stress. We just keep our kids close to home.

      What's a blog carnival?

  2. How dare you not drive your child everywhere! How dare you allow your child to play – gasp – somewhere besides in the house / out in back / on a play date! How dare you allow your kid to go to that boy scout camp where they SHOOT GUNS! How dare you fail to microchip your kid! /sarc

  3. Stop having children. The world doesn't need your spawn to add to the overpopulation of the world. No point in being environmental when you keep reproducing like rabbits.

  4. OMG! I have enough difficulty dealing with the Millenials at the drive through (luckliy not many in my workplace yet – economy); I can't bare to think of them as parents! We think they were spoiled brats… what will they spawn?

    1. @Hil*S – Millennials will spawn the next \”Prophet\” generation, which will be similar to the current Baby Boomers in character. They will rebel against the values of their Millennial parents and try to tear down the unified society they have (will) create. This should all go down around 2050 or so…

      1. Millennials will provide the hubristic G.I. like leaders who go over the top with the internet. Prophet kids will rebel against stripping off their cell phones, I-pods that Millennials embrace.

      2. " As usual, most institutions (schools in particular) won't be prepared for this shift and will assume what worked for the previous batch of kids (Millennials) will work with this bunch as well. The result will be a very challenging time for schools (and eventually companies) as these stifled, conformist and compliant kids move up through the years."

        I believe what would happen when Homelanders come is that they'll perceive themselves as in Millennials shadow and that teachers or bosses care less for them than Millennials who are so perfect.

    2. When Millennials are parents, they'll give their kids more freedom. Let kids play again. Not be in soccer so much.

  5. I talk about the prediction when Millennials are parents everytime and that their kids revolt against them to many generational experts.

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